Comments on: Episode #3: Should He Wait or Run?!

By: Coolio

Coolio — Tue, 04 May 2010 15:49:30 +0000

well there’s a lot of intellectual thought on this email from the guy. and frankly i dont know what all the fuss is about.
DARKESTCLEAR has got it ‘bulls eye’.
its just the usual “deceptive” marriage trap game. this cow wants to give milk only when you take her home.
so its very simple, he has to walk out. A man’s perogrative in this world is what he wants to do. he is currently studying and wants to build a life. there are Other things much more important in life, than just marriage/love.
besides, has anyone asked her if she’s sure the ‘pain’ will stop after they get married?
this girl is bad for both of them. ill risk putting my money on that. Nows not the time dude and as he rightly recognizes, marriage is a comittment which is unwilling to make at this point in life. so then the Decision is already made. there no question.

By: Troy

Troy — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:01:11 +0000

Dump the bitch.

By: KrisBelucci

KrisBelucci — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 10:28:36 +0000

Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll definitely be coming back to your site.

By: Instructor CR James

Instructor CR James — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 05:03:08 +0000

LOL. i like that approach charles

i’m a face-painting front row seat sports fan of “logic-laced mis-quoting” b/c the pain and/or
effort of correction registers as being too much…

plus it’s the evolved version of directly saying to a woman:

“you’re not making any damn sense!”

By: Charles

Charles — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 04:59:52 +0000

Hi CR,

Let’s see…he wants to have the benefits of marriage without any commitment, and she wants to have the commitment without the benefits of marriage. Seems to me that they are perfect for each other. LOL. Maybe a Relationships For Dummies book for both of them.

Slightly more seriously, I got married while I was still in grad school, my wife worked until I graduated, then we reversed the roles. But this guy needs to decide what he wants. If he is just looking for casual sex until he finds someone to marry, he should be honest with her. As that can be unpleasant as well as dangerous, he can try to do the mental judo with her after some other intimate event:

HIM: “Wow, that was great. You know, I been thinking about it and I think you are right.”

HER: “About what?”

HIM: “About how we shouldn’t have sex because we are not married and you might get pregnant, and that would be a big mess to deal with, and I’m not working and all that.”

Even if she hasn’t said that, she won’t deny it because she is a woman and will believe she must have said something that sensible.

HIM: “So anyway, I have decided that you’re right. It isn’t fair to you and stresses you. I mean, you have been so good to me for the last four years.”

At this point, her proposed consideration for the proposed bargain has become mostly worthless, and she needs to come up with some way to break the stalemate as the prospects look bleak for the next six years. She will either break up with him, or panic that she is losing him and try to show him what he is missing. Either way, conflict will be resolved.

Regards,

Charles

By: G

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 03:50:33 +0000

First, please allow me to appologize for my rudeness in expressing my thoughts; rudeness never has an excuse.

Second, please notice that the young woman it TRYING to make love to the young man — she is just experiencing ALOT of pain every time she does …. and there can be many physical reasons for that, only some of which i’ve mentioned in my comments above. Her doctor can follow up with her and her boyfriend about these and/or any other concerns that she might have.
Please give her the benefit of the doubt.

Third, for those interested in finding out more information about hymens and/or how to make love to a virgin, i recommend that you do an internet search on each, staying with the reputable websites, espcially those that are medical. I did my research with the searches with “hymen” and “how to make love to a virgin”.

It will also give you feed back from bloggers about their own experiences, both the nightmares and good ideas.

I hope that will give you information you can use.

By: GaryB

GaryB — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 07:40:26 +0000

This reminds me of a hot little thing I went out with a long time ago that basically did the same thing, but more indirectly. She left me very emotionally hurt, I soon met someone else and was infatuated; then,a month later she obviously became curious why I wasn't interested in her like I was, evidently she was real interested in me again- too late, it ended. She had issues with her body, or eating pattern, and in order to hide it she felt compelled to marry her or "your out!!" So, I believe he should continue to pursue his goals,with her or without her; and like in SLB [Super Lust Buttons], give her the perception you will be just fine without her-that you won't go mad like I did. Once you meet someone who shares your desires and shares your goals, she will be a thing of the past, or she will subordinate her fraudulent beliefs, and do an about face. My question if she does, be ready for a reoccurring like pattern of behavior in the future, unless CR which I am sure he does, has the recipe to remedy this behavior. Good luck

By: G

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:05:04 +0000

OK, guys, the woman’s side of the “cow thing” is “I don’t intend to buy the whole pig for a little bit of sausage.” Me, i ain’t interested in either.
~~~~ and the “dangling hymen” thing, any man that cannot respect of woman’s ethical convictions is not worthy of her ~~~ and as a woman who has been on the end of that excuse men give, every man that i’ve known that gives this line is a hypocrit that expect to marry a woman who is a virgin. Grow up.

By: G

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:54:19 +0000

oooppppsssss ~~~~~ correction …. “—- except abstinatance, which is definately NOT what you are participating in”

By: G

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:50:50 +0000

The reason that this young woman doesn’t want to have sex is the intense pain that she has when they attempt to do so.
I suspect that she may have an abnormally thick or abnormally formed hyman that will require a doctor to surgically open. Although this is a rare situation it does occur — and it will exist whether or not she has her first sexual experience in marriage or outside of marriage.
Dispite all our sex education, most of us are WOEFULLY ignorant about a woman’s presexual anantomy, including, and most sadly, us women …. and men about a virgin’s fears, reactions, responses, and how to make a woman’s first time the least traumatic for her, physically and emotionally.
It is also possible that her pain could also come from fear or other emotional factors(which results in her tensing her body, including her vagina), which is also common among virgins ~~~~ marriage MAY be the answer in this case if she is sensitive about having sex only within marriage because if she marries she will be in a situation that allows her to relax better.
And her pain could also come from the young man not stimulating her enough and/or in such a way that she lubercates enough ~~~ this situation would require the two people to learn about what arrouses each other, especially what arrouses her.
If i were advising this young woman and young man, i would advise them to visit her OBGYN first and then go from there according to the doctor’s advice.

But having said that ………
I would tell the young man, “If you don’t want to marry for 6-10 yrs., WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOING WHAT MAKES BABIES !!!!!! There is ABSOLUTELY NNNNNOOOOOO birth control that is 100% fool proof — except abstinance, which is definately what you are trying to participate in. ——– or are you planning on forcing your girlfriend to kill/abort any child you might concieve with her and inflict on her the physical and/or emotional consequences women FREQUENTLY experience, including but not restricted to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the inability to carry wanted babies to term, increased chance of developing breat cancer, perferated uterus, asperated intestines, infections (some to the extent of requiring amputation of the arms and/or legs to save the woman’s life), and death.
And, even if you don’t conceive a baby with her, as the saying goes, “There is no birth control that protects the woman’s heart (and soul).”
My counsel to the young man is keep up your zipper atleast until you are willing to take responsibility for your actions the way an adult should, including if that means marrying your girlfriend.
My counsel to the young woman about this situation …. RUN LIKE HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!