Too Much Sexual Value???


I just got an email from a guy who is in a weird situation, he’s been meeting a few girls
and now things are getting out of hand.

But first, I’m deciding to reveal: 24 Ways To Start A Conversation With A Woman

I’ve had a lot of people ask me this question so I decided to give away page 30 of

my 77 page report “Super Approach Power” which shows the 24 ways to start a conversation.

 

24-ways-to-start-conversation-screen-shot

Entry Points

There are 4 easy ways to start any conversation:
[Conversation Starters]

1. State your opinion
2. State a fact
3. Ask for her opinion
4. Ask her about a fact

And with that there are 6 basic topics
[Basic Topics]

A. You
B. Her
C. Someone Else
D. Something
E. The Situation
F. The Environment

So with these 4 Conversation Starters and these 6 Basic Topics, you can easily form:
24 Ways To Get Her Attention: In other words, you can create 24 Entry Points.

1. State your opinion about You
2. State your opinion about Her
3. State your opinion about Someone Else
4. State your opinion about Something
5. State your opinion about The Situation
6. State your opinion about The Environment
7. State a fact about about You
8. State a fact about about Her
9. State a fact about about Someone Else
10. State a fact about about Something
11. State a fact about about The Situation
12. State a fact about about The Environment
13. Ask for her opinion about You
14. Ask for her opinion about Her
15. Ask for her opinion about Someone Else
16. Ask for her opinion about Something
17. Ask for her opinion about The Situation
18. Ask for her opinion about The Environment
19. Ask her about a fact about You
20. Ask her about a fact about Her
21. Ask her about a fact about Someone Else
22. Ask her about a fact about Something
23. Ask her about a fact about The Situation
24. Ask her about a fact about The Environment

If you like this, you’ll also want to check out another FREE report (no need to sign up)

The 4 FG Types (all women can fall in one of these 4 types – and you’ll understand why that’s important to know)
Also, there was one guy who emailed me stating that he
keeps getting “turned down” for adult activities as a result of

(what he believes is) having TOO MUCH Sexual Value???

Is this possible?

In fact, he gives 4 exact quotes from 4 different women
which is how he arrived at this “theory”…

Let me know what you think…

(Maybe you or someone you know have been in this situation before.)

Let me know what you think? (email me at crjames100@gmail)

Here’s the email he sent me:

Hey CR,

Luis here… first of all I would like to say thanks on behalf of all the guys your efforts help to get whatever they want (girlfriend, get laid, etc) and dude, just the fact that you answer most emails with not only like a friend but also with total seriousness, it puts you on another level (compared to other “gurus” out there).

Now with the question at hand. Here’s something that a happened to me last weekend:

For the first time, I went out with a good family friend (the daughter of my mother’s best friend to be specific), after some drinks at a bar I took her back home and as we barely entered and she jumped on me and pretty much dragged me to her bed. To keep it short (and censored), by the time I got inside she pushed me back and pretty much begged me to stop because she said:

– “I know myself and if we continue tonight I’ll fall for you [in love] and you are leaving in a couple of days”

The week before another girl told me at a bar:

– “I dunno what I’m gonna do without you”

BTW, it was just the second time I saw her.

Another friend, already in bed… I was making her cum like crazy when all of a sudden she stopped and ran away.

Another one told me: “You know.. I’ve meet many assholes in my life and you’re totally different. You’re the kind not only for bed, you’re a real man.. one a woman marries”

And another one said: “I’m not enough for you..”

And so on…

I think I have lot of value as a person, but I’m still a regular guy in the process of learning and self improving. Although I try to keep myself fit, I’m no Brad Pitt at all. I don’t have money, neither come from a powerful family or whatever. So this is shocking me lately… My sex life is being troubled by my perceived serious partner/boyfriend/husband potential!

So in a few words…

Am I “too good” for my own good?

Has this happen to anyone else? Any recommendations?

Thanks in advance,
Luis

Again, let me know what you think (crjames100@gmail or post)

  • Does he have too much value?
  • Have you (or someone you know) been in that situation before?
  • What can he do?

Also, if you plan on using the 24 ways to start a conversation, you’ll also want to check out another FREE report (no need to sign up)

CLICK HERE – To get the 4 FG Types (all women can fall in one of these 4 types – and you’ll understand why that’s important to know)



RSS Feed for This Post45 Comment(s)

  1. Paris | Reply

    How can their be to much sexual vaule?
    I’m trying to strengthen mines on a daily basis,
    bless him but I know he is Krazy.Hell!!! give
    me some then, if that’s the case.And you’ll think I’m a PORNO-STAR.

    MY BEST TO YOU AS ALWAYS MR CR-James
    (THE PSYCHOLOGICAL LOVER)

  2. crjames | Reply

    it would be interesting if that were possible. two guys could wear special helmets and then average each other out…

  3. Les | Reply

    Luis is so full of himself that he is totaly full of shit.
    I can’t believe that you think his letter is even valid. This is the kind of stuff the “stay at home Saturday night” guys come up and jack off to.

    This idiot thinks he is such a cocksman that the girls are terrified of his abilities as a stallion. He needs to get a life and get his ego selfboosting ass out in the real world. She was coming like crazy and suddenly stopped and ran away. Horse shit Luis?

    Get a life.

  4. David | Reply

    I have had 4 very attractive young women (based on explicit photos) in their 20s and 30s fall in love with me on the Internet. I have even had cyber sex with two of them. One I have invited to come live with me. She is due here next week. Am I that good, too? They are from Africa and Poland. Two are mixed race, the other two are caucasian like me. I am 75.

  5. crjames | Reply

    dave, i think that qualifies as being “good”.

    Would it be ok if you shared at least one with Paris?

  6. t2 | Reply

    As a group whether male or female most of us are attracted to a certain ‘type’. I tend to be attracted to ‘bad’ girls. I suspect you like girls who fall in love easy, eg relationship girls. Change the type of girls you go for, not the energy you use.

  7. Chris | Reply

    Dear CR,

    He does not have too much value. The women he has been with are not sure how to handle the situation with him. Men become shy around a quality woman in that area of life, and women become shy and nervous around a quality man. The women are not used to having good sexual situations that are enjoyable for them. I have been in that situation before where women are feeling uncertain of the future because they have known me for a short time. He needs to make her feel comfortable, and let her go at her own pace with sex. I would suggest a massage, which touches her everywhere except her forbidden zones because other parts of her body have many nerve endings and sensitive areas. There are many sources of information on that out there. Thank you to 2 Girls Teach Sex, Gabrielle Moore, and others I cannot recall at the moment.

    Chris

  8. crjames | Reply

    t2… good point about the type of girl

  9. crjames | Reply

    @chris…also good point. different women respond differently…

  10. Steve | Reply

    I’ve been told all of those same things myself all of my life… word for word. I know the woman who told me, “I was the type of guy a woman marries”, was at a point in her life where she wanted to have fun and not date someone exclusive… she had just been cheated on by her boyfriend and not ready to date seriously. Women always fall in love with me very fast, so I’ve learned to be very picky with the women I choose and only go for the ones that have alot of the qualities I’m looking for. I’m not rich, but I have a good job & know where I’m going… and women find that to be a great quality. I waited for the right one to come along… and come along she did. She is everything I ever wanted in a woman and so much more. I am very much in love and think I am the luckiest man on the planet to have her.

  11. crjames | Reply

    i think it is clear that some people when they decide to play the field — male or female — make decisions that are either considerate of the other
    person’s feelings or not…

  12. Ira | Reply

    Hi There!

    O.K. so I’m a little confused – what exactly is the point or the answer or the conclusion we are supposed to arrive at from this? It’s interesting but I fail to see the ultimate point. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know. But this just left me confused.

  13. Luis | Reply

    Hey guys, very good points you’re making here.. and NO, I’m not full of myself… I’m definitely not the “last coke of the desert”, but come on, let’s be honest, with so many mommy’s little kids, pussies or complete ass-holes out there, being perceived as “different” is becoming less of a challenge nowadays.

    And yes, the whole pushing back issue really happened. Believe me or not.. that is the least of my concerns.

    Bottom line is.. can one become too much of a Man that actually back-fires? (yeah.. I know how cocky this sounds but it’s a true legitimate question)

  14. crjames | Reply

    ira… luis has had a few experiences with women and he wants to know if it’s the result of possibly…maybe…having TOO MUCH Sexual Value (Desirability)…

  15. crjames | Reply

    i agree luis.. everything is relative…with all of “mommy’s little kids, pussies or complete ass-holes” (as you put it)
    .. it’s getting easier for single guys to have success…especially with quality women…

  16. John | Reply

    It can and does happen. This happened to me after my real authentic self started to shine through (my career and financial successes didnt help either ;)) Every girl wanted to wait. It was sooooo frustrating.

    I would recommend spending time with a woman or women, who
    make you feel that way too. Otherwise you’re going to be waiting around and putting a lot of extra time and energy into something when you only wanted a casual thing from her. You might have to accept the fact you’re a good guy that has a lot to offer.

    Don’t waste your time on people you don’t feel that strongly about. It will get old. I promise you.

    You’re at a precipice. You can either start showing less of yourself and pursue the casual route (nothing wrong with that) or you can take the gifts and confidence you have and find some real connections.

    You are making them already, just make sure you’re putting them to use for you.

    Congratulations.

  17. Aj | Reply

    I definitely agree with you!! Fantasizing is common for many people …

  18. David | Reply

    I don’t think there is such thing as too much sexual value. I think these women either have low self esteem or their responsible side kicked in. I had women whom I found attractive look at me with hungry eyes, but I had to keep things from getting too out of hand because either I was involved with somebody or they were. So though I could have taken advantage of them, I didn’t.

  19. crjames | Reply

    @ John, I like that response a lot!

    @ David, I agree.

    …in reality “too much sv” is relative. and the ‘perception of’ presupposes either a mindset and/or strategy adjustment…

    a true sign that you have a lot of SV is when you (while armed w/ a brain-full of strategies) responsibly and unselfishly turn down an attractive woman…

  20. Luigi | Reply

    zzzzz… sounds like a nice problem to have, you are doing everything right except “sealing the deal”. You just can’t close. It’s a technical failure because you are getting her interested and not really fully aroused where she can’t think anymore, just act on emotion/impulse. Please go back and review Sensei CR’s material.

  21. john | Reply

    Hey Luis

    Change hands

  22. Nate | Reply

    Luigi nailed my sentiments exactly. It’s a closing problem. I have friends with the same problem. They can attract women like crazy but, when it comes time to really take charge and close, they fire off the “too nice guy/too timid” signal or some other weird vibe that turns women off. Also, women saying very complimentary things doesn’t necessarily equate to Sexual Value. Women can say some extraordinarily sweet things and not find you desirable. Watch the “you’re too good for me” line. Personal experience, that means you’re probably firing off the “too nice guy” vibe.

  23. ruslan | Reply

    I believe Luis. The sexual tension is so big because of the perceived gap of sv between him and his women(amplified by the lack of balanced and mature men today)
    The sexual tension would be equivalent to a 12 year old guy with raging hormones get told by his sexy school teacher to lift her skirt and have a peek

  24. crjames | Reply

    @nate …that’s true (about complimentary things doesn’t necessarily equate to Sexual Value)

  25. Ryan | Reply

    I think there are definitely some holes in this story, for instance if the sex was that good would she really leave because of that image if you were close to orgasm and you felt so overwhelmed you had to leave it’s almost impossible to imagine, I think it’s possible to be so manly and have such value that a woman feels overwhelmed around you but also it’s clear from this that there is a slight hint of ego here aswell if not more than anything else. Some of it just seems too cliche to be fully true and seen through an ego tinted frame.

  26. CF | Reply

    CR,

    He’s imagining things. These women are hot, horny and all over him, and he is letting them get away with offering a “token” resistance, and not giving them what they want.

    CF

  27. crjames | Reply

    that’s interesting, CF so you’re saying they really want him?
    and she should have kept pursuing and he would have got her?

  28. CF | Reply

    HE should have addressed the moment, as it transpired, and he might NOT have gotten what he wanted, but he would have had a much better chance than he got by just giving up. I know this one by heart – been there and done that way too many times.

    It goes to listening, and not necessarily believing, and then gently, by being manly and present, re-directing.

    Like, she says, “Oh, I can’t do this. I can’t believe I feel this way.”

    He says, “How do you feel?’

    She says, “I want you so badly.”

    He, knowing that women have to emotionally black-mail themselves into sex, unless they are fully awake and aware, says, “I want YOU, too.”

    She says, “But we can’t.”

    He says, “I won’t ever make you do anything you do not want to do, and I want to make love to you,” and kisses her.

    Women don’t want to feel like tramps or sluts, and they are ever so keenly aware that men often call them that if they are easy, so they offer resistance, even when they do not want to resist. (And, I got this from the women, sometimes all a woman wants is a good fuck.)

    If he is present, feeling her, feeling his own feelings, and appreciating whatever is happening, and yet remaining in integrity with what he wants, and what he believes, he has a much better chance. She can FEEL his inner self.

    The day I discovered that women are like tuning forks -they feel what we feel – and that what it means to a woman to feel safe is when the man is owning what he feels and not hiding anything, I almost did a dance. If he is doing what most of us have ben taught since chilkd-hood “Make her comfortable” he is probably hiding his turn-on, and THAT is what makes her feel weird and he is a creep – he’s hiding something.

    When I “got” that, suddenly a whole life of experiences with women all made so much simple sense.

    Not talking rape, just talking holding your own space, and wanting what you want, and hanging in there.

    If you are giving her what she wants – attention, appreciation, desire for her, passion, and allowing her the space to say “No,” she almost CAN’T resist.

    Especially, if in your heart, you are the man, the prize, knowing that she wants you.

    A faint heart never won fair lady. – William Camden, 1605.

    Guys screw up when they are afraid of making her unhappy, and that is what makes her the unhappiest.

    They fall in love with Nice Guys but have no passion for them, and they hate jerks because they are not nice, but they are manly and inspire passion. The trick is to be a Good Man, and walk the tightrope between the two extremes. Actually, since the Good Man is simply being himself, it’s easier than it sounds, once you understand it.

    Romance 101 – women need to have their emotional roller-coasters going to want sex (not always, but usually) and men just want sex before they can even get to love (not always, but usually).

    He has to take her on a ride. YOU, my friend, are the master of THAT. Wish I had your talent for THAT.

    Regards,

    CF

  29. BERT | Reply

    Luis,

    If anyone puts down as egotistical, they are just jealous of having a Super SV. The question remains what do you want from these women. Is it Don Juan Tenerio, just numbers or each conquest that have a happy ending. Some men have it and some don’t ie CR James. I personally admire men who have the God given ability to seduce women. I myself was not blessed with that. Thanks to James I have come a long way. Sex was taboo in my house and the many chances just slipped through my hands. I had a women that was none stop sex, any time any place. It really got over the top. There many confused people out there especially when it come to relationships. Luis enjoy it while you can without ruining any lives.
    The women have the problems not you. Good Luck.

  30. Tom | Reply

    IMHO, CF absolutely nailed it.

  31. h | Reply

    To me the problem is not of too much SV. The problem is that he is sending and generating the wrong signals.

    He needs to adjust his communication. When building attraction he is getting too serious (he’s probably listening too much and showing he cares too much). If he’d keep it light and funny he’ll still get the sex, but the girl won’t attach.

    If you’ve got high SV and you get too personal too quickly a girl will start falling in love every time. Keep the SV the same, just keep the signals fun and detached. Tell the girl repeatedly that you think she’ll make a great friend.

  32. JT | Reply

    Hi James,

    I believe Luis does have a lot of sexual value as well as personal power and “husband value”.

    I think what is happening here is that he just wants to get into these women’s pants but these women see him as husband material and their modesty/morality alarm goes off. In this state, the woman can’t bring herself to have wild hot sex with him, even though she is horny for him, because she is too afraid he might think she is a slut or loose after that. She wants him to want her for everything else (her personality, beauty, kindness etc) other than sex, because she can see herself marrying him.

  33. Dominic | Reply

    Too much sexual value? No..I quite agree with the last post by JT in that Luis has “husband value”; though I would term it Provider/Beta value…And that it is overriding Luis’s sexual/lover value..so much so that the women are flaking at the last second(talk about Last Second Rejections!)..So either they are generally flakers to begin with and/or Luis needs to cool down on the “too much Husband value”..or another option is to have the women follow thru..which can involve framing it as the woman being great Wife material cause she follows thru on important matters(like sex! :), and/or framing the interaction/sex as in no way undermining his Husband/Provider value..There are other ways too, but there’s my 5 cents of opinion

  34. fudgeman | Reply

    CF is totally and completely DEAD FUCKING ON TARGET!!!! what an incredible post! CF, you da man!

    🙂

  35. Steven W J | Reply

    Hi CR James, I like your blog, pity they don’t teach this stuff in school. It would save a lot of heartbreak.

    Too Much Sexual Value
    I doubt it,I would say he is very beta, probably good looking, has decent prospects and a good job. In other words, he is husband material, and the women are using sex to seduce him for this purpose. I mean, they are giving him a bit and then stopping, so as to addict him to the sex, have him coming back for more so they can seduce him for marriage. They are playing him. If he had a high sexual value, they would want him to give it to them good and proper, not stop half way through!

    Steven W J Richards
    Live the Life you Love and Love the Life you Live!

  36. crjames | Reply

    Good analysis. That’s definitely a realistic possibility, especially when you consider (as you mentioned)
    the giving in a bit and then stopping…

  37. g | Reply

    OK … ~~~ will need to read this email & comments in more detail, but this is my initial response.
    I’m a woman —- and i have been in contact with men that have turned me on so much and so hard that it has scared me to death … and i have run like H_ _ L!!!!! In fact, recently i had that happen to me with a college course that i needed and i dropped the class and forfeited the tuition cost just to escape a man that seemed to be as attracted to me as i was to him (besides the fact that i wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on the class anyway because of him). But, being a science/medical mindedf and interested person, i also am aware of the biochemical and hormonal dynamics that are involved in sexual attraction, not just the various physical, mental, and emotional techniques that can be involved.
    I will follow up more after i read the article and comments more fully.

  38. g | Reply

    Hello, CR and Luis,
    … I’m sorry it has taken so long to get back with you, but I’ve been thinking and praying about how to respond to your sincere question.

    I read your email, Luis, and the rest of the comments; all of the comments seem to be from men but I hope you don’t mind a woman’s point of view ….

    You asked if it is possible to have too much sexual value, Luis. I am thinking that that depends on the definition that you apply to the phrase.
    If the definition is “being able to have sex with any woman at any time regardless of the ramifications, consequences, and damage done to the woman and her life”, then, yes, it is possible to have too much “sexual value”.
    But if the definition is “being the best person you can be so that not only women but ALL people will enjoy being with you” and “that women enjoy being with you out of bed as well as in bed”, being a person of who does not intentionally harm anyone and is sorry if you do unintentionally, who takes responsibility for your actions, who is respecting, compassionate, concerning, and sensitive, then, no, you cannot have too much sexual value. In fact, you could never have too much of THAT kind of Sexual Value —- a definition that I believe that CR has spoken about, too.
    And from what you shared, I believe that you are well on your way to fulfilling that definition.
    What is the reason that I say that?
    First, you have had the maturity to choose women who are mature themselves, knowing themselves and their needs as well as knowing that your expectations and their needs don’t match up and were able to take whatever actions necessary to not allow the situation to progress.
    Second, going from the fact that your ladies knew your expectations did not match theirs, you must have been clear in communicating your expectations to them.
    Third, and the hardest of all for you to do, you did not force them to continue having sex with you against their will, whether by force (rape) or coercion and mind games.
    You not only avoided the possibility of being charged with rape or date rape and doing irreparable harm to your ladies, but you also created a window for them to reconnect with you if your situations changed. And as a victim of abuse and rape myself, I admire you greatly for making that very hard sacrifice and I pray that God will reward you for it.
    I do not believe that these ladies were trying to manipulate and trap you as one of the bloggers mentioned, though. I believe that they just got caught up in you and their desire to be with you (and, I suspect, your love-making) before finally realizing that they had gone further than they should have.

    But if you wouldn’t mind, would you allow me to ask you a question? What is the reason that you feel that you have to have one night stands and casual sex instead of making love within a relationship (whether or not that is marriage)?
    I am aware that men are concerned about how men view them (as mentioned about by the veiled insult of you being a “Beta/non-Alpha” man and “husband material”). And one of the ways they do that is by bragging on their female conquests and sexual abilities with them.
    If you think about it, just the fact that a man is seeking approval of other men through their actions automatically disqualifies it as Sexual Value since Sexual Value requires the perception of a woman rather than men (unless, of course, the person is gay). And one of the things we women disrespect the most about men is that they seem to always think with their “second head” … the jerks that some of the other bloggers and your ladies referred to.
    I am, also, aware that many men feel that they need to learn about satisfying women sexual in preparation for when they become married …….. but there is something that I have learned; married or unmarried, we all go through the learning process of how to make love and it is better and safer to do so within the emotionally safety and security of a loving, committed relationship, especially that of marriage … for men as well as women.

    CR has taught a lot about character and making a woman feel safe as being a part of Sexual Value.
    Going from what you wrote, I do not think you have “too much” Sexual Value ~~~ but, rather, that you have far more than a vast majority of men (as exampled by some of the comments below) … rather like comparing the artistic ability of Michelangelo to that of a farmer.
    And it sounds like you sort of like a combination of Hebrew National hot dogs and Wise potato chips ~~~~~ you are 100% natural with no artificial stuff and that they wouldn’t be satisfied with “just one” time with you.
    I and many of woman friends often talk about the “good men” and how there are so few of them … and how by the time we get to our age all of the “good ones” are taken.
    Sounds to me like your ladies have recognized that you are one of the “good ones”.
    It also sounds like you have very good taste in women, too, Luis.

    If it will help you, I have had two men in my life that might help you to know about.
    One is a man that I worked with a LOOOOOONG time ago. He was the perfect example of “Sexual Value” (I will not tell you his name because he is now well known and I respect his privacy.
    Believe me, almost every one of us women in the office would have loved to have been his “love interest”, including some of the ladies his aunt’s age.
    He wasn’t particularly tall, and he wasn’t any more attractive than most men, but he was kind, wise, ethical, had a kind sense of humor, and cared about everyone.
    I consider myself very blessed to have had him as a friend — something that he did not use as I line to prey on me with as a blogger suggested that you do. In fact, he gave me one of the most precious gifts a man has ever given me — he did not look at me with lust or revulsion as all the other men in my life had, but as if I was something incredibly beautiful … like he would have looked at a beautiful masterpiece work of art in a museum.
    The other man was my father. My mother shared with me once that she always wanted him —- and more than he was able to give her. In fact, the way that they finally married was because she was so turned on by him that she finally told him that if he didn’t marry her she would have to stop seeing him (back then, premarital sex was horrific and scandalous).
    But he himself was a virgin when they married, not just my mother. In fact, when he was over in France during WW2, his fellow soldiers teased him mercilessly because of it and because he wouldn’t use the local women for sex the way they did.
    He was an attractive man, average height and weight. But he saw women as people rather than something there for his gratification. He didn’t demean them or limit them as was common in his day. He was kind, wise, ethical, responsible, compassionate, caring, and went out of his way to help people. The only times I saw him really angry was when someone or something was being hurt in some way.
    He was secure within himself and didn’t need to prove to anyone “how much of a man” he was — including other men. He had no problem with showing emotion or crying in public because of that.
    And he was faithful to my mother and his family and did whatever he needed to to provide for and protect them.
    He wasn’t a weak man by any means; he was a man of depth and strong character. He was an Alpha man because of his character, not because of his ability to bully, push around and manipulate other people — especially women.

    As a man, there is a saying that I think you might be interested in: “Gentleness is not being a milk-toast doormat; gentleness is strength under control — using only the amount of strength necessary in a given situation” … like a horse has all that strength, but he is trained to use only a certain amount of that strength at a given time.
    Add to that what Jesus said about leaders being servants of those that they are leading rather than being dictators and oppressors and predators.

    Well, I hope that feed-back helps you at least a little bit, Luis.

    If you have any questions, please let me know; CR can forward your email to me.
    I will be praying for you.

    G

  39. g | Reply

    Hello, CR and Luis,
    … I’m sorry it has taken so long to get back with you, but I’ve been thinking and praying about how to respond to your sincere question.

    I read your email, Luis, and the rest of the comments; all of the comments seem to be from men but I hope you don’t mind a woman’s point of view ….

    You asked if it is possible to have too much sexual value, Luis. I am thinking that that depends on the definition that you apply to the phrase.
    If the definition is “being able to have sex with any woman at any time regardless of the ramifications, consequences, and damage done to the woman and her life”, then, yes, it is possible to have too much “sexual value”.
    But if the definition is “being the best person you can be so that not only women but ALL people will enjoy being with you” and “that women enjoy being with you out of bed as well as in bed”, being a person of who does not intentionally harm anyone and is sorry if you do unintentionally, who takes responsibility for your actions, who is respecting, compassionate, concerning, and sensitive, then, no, you cannot have too much sexual value. In fact, you could never have too much of THAT kind of Sexual Value —- a definition that I believe that CR has spoken about, too.
    And from what you shared, I believe that you are well on your way to fulfilling that definition.
    What is the reason that I say that?
    First, you have had the maturity to choose women who are mature themselves, knowing themselves and their needs as well as knowing that your expectations and their needs don’t match up and were able to take whatever actions necessary to not allow the situation to progress.
    Second, going from the fact that your ladies knew your expectations did not match theirs, you must have been clear in communicating your expectations to them.
    Third, and the hardest of all for you to do, you did not force them to continue having sex with you against their will, whether by force (rape) or coercion and mind games.
    You not only avoided the possibility of being charged with rape or date rape and doing irreparable harm to your ladies, but you also created a window for them to reconnect with you if your situations changed. And as a victim of abuse and rape myself, I admire you greatly for making that very hard sacrifice and I pray that God will reward you for it.
    I do not believe that these ladies were trying to manipulate and trap you as one of the bloggers mentioned, though. I believe that they just got caught up in you and their desire to be with you (and, I suspect, your love-making) before finally realizing that they had gone further than they should have.

  40. g | Reply

    But if you wouldn’t mind, would you allow me to ask you a question? What is the reason that you feel that you have to have one night stands and casual sex instead of making love within a relationship (whether or not that is marriage)?
    I am aware that men are concerned about how men view them (as mentioned about by the veiled insult of you being a “Beta/non-Alpha” man and “husband material”). And one of the ways they do that is by bragging on their female conquests and sexual abilities with them.
    If you think about it, just the fact that a man is seeking approval of other men through their actions automatically disqualifies it as Sexual Value since Sexual Value requires the perception of a woman rather than men (unless, of course, the person is gay). And one of the things we women disrespect the most about men is that they seem to always think with their “second head” … the jerks that some of the other bloggers and your ladies referred to.
    I am, also, aware that many men feel that they need to learn about satisfying women sexual in preparation for when they become married …….. but there is something that I have learned; married or unmarried, we all go through the learning process of how to make love and it is better and safer to do so within the emotionally safety and security of a loving, committed relationship, especially that of marriage … for men as well as women.

    CR has taught a lot about character and making a woman feel safe as being a part of Sexual Value.
    Going from what you wrote, I do not think you have “too much” Sexual Value ~~~ but, rather, that you have far more than a vast majority of men (as exampled by some of the comments below) … rather like comparing the artistic ability of Michelangelo to that of a farmer.
    And it sounds like you sort of like a combination of Hebrew National hot dogs and Wise potato chips ~~~~~ you are 100% natural with no artificial stuff and that they wouldn’t be satisfied with “just one” time with you.
    I and many of woman friends often talk about the “good men” and how there are so few of them … and how by the time we get to our age all of the “good ones” are taken.
    Sounds to me like your ladies have recognized that you are one of the “good ones”.
    It also sounds like you have very good taste in women, too, Luis.

  41. g | Reply

    If it will help you, I have had two men in my life that might help you to know about.
    One is a man that I worked with a LOOOOOONG time ago. He was the perfect example of “Sexual Value” (I will not tell you his name because he is now well known and I respect his privacy.
    Believe me, almost every one of us women in the office would have loved to have been his “love interest”, including some of the ladies his aunt’s age.
    He wasn’t particularly tall, and he wasn’t any more attractive than most men, but he was kind, wise, ethical, had a kind sense of humor, and cared about everyone.
    I consider myself very blessed to have had him as a friend — something that he did not use as I line to prey on me with as a blogger suggested that you do. In fact, he gave me one of the most precious gifts a man has ever given me — he did not look at me with lust or revulsion as all the other men in my life had, but as if I was something incredibly beautiful … like he would have looked at a beautiful masterpiece work of art in a museum.
    The other man was my father. My mother shared with me once that she always wanted him —- and more than he was able to give her. In fact, the way that they finally married was because she was so turned on by him that she finally told him that if he didn’t marry her she would have to stop seeing him (back then, premarital sex was horrific and scandalous).
    But he himself was a virgin when they married, not just my mother. In fact, when he was over in France during WW2, his fellow soldiers teased him mercilessly because of it and because he wouldn’t use the local women for sex the way they did.
    He was an attractive man, average height and weight. But he saw women as people rather than something there for his gratification. He didn’t demean them or limit them as was common in his day. He was kind, wise, ethical, responsible, compassionate, caring, and went out of his way to help people. The only times I saw him really angry was when someone or something was being hurt in some way.
    He was secure within himself and didn’t need to prove to anyone “how much of a man” he was — including other men. He had no problem with showing emotion or crying in public because of that.
    And he was faithful to my mother and his family and did whatever he needed to to provide for and protect them.
    He wasn’t a weak man by any means; he was a man of depth and strong character. He was an Alpha man because of his character, not because of his ability to bully, push around and manipulate other people — especially women.

  42. g | Reply

    As a man, there is a saying that I think you might be interested in: “Gentleness is not being a milk-toast doormat; gentleness is strength under control — using only the amount of strength necessary in a given situation” … like a horse has all that strength, but he is trained to use only a certain amount of that strength at a given time.
    Add to that what Jesus said about leaders being servants of those that they are leading rather than being dictators and oppressors and predators.

    Well, I hope that feed-back helps you at least a little bit, Luis.

    If you have any questions, please let me know; CR can forward your email to me.
    I will be praying for you.

    G

  43. James | Reply

    G I have questions for you, in regards to a lady I’m trying to court overseas, she is a high quality lady, but views herself as low quality due to past experiences. She too as in Luis’ experiences has mentioned things similar but she told me she doesn’t deserve it, in regards to the things I talked about with her, in her mind she has found herself to be “Do-able” not “Date-able” as she would like to be. I seem to be the only guy she has met that sees the value in her as a person. Well anyway I do have some questions for “G” if she doesn’t mind answering them. If you don’t mind CR could you please forward my email address to her, thank you.

  44. Zone | Reply

    Hey!!
    Read the post and what I could get from it, is that he does not have too much sexual value but he keeps on going after women that are not up to his standards what I mean by that is he goes after women he is wayyyyyy better than ”he got more level” than them.
    So he needs to change his taste in women and go fr high class women and that a woman is hot does not mean she got class.

  45. Philipp | Reply

    Hi guys,
    I would agree with Dominic, Luis may have too much value concerning the husband/provider material but maybe not enough in the Lover/making her live adventures material.
    I had a girl say that to me, saying to everyone I was perfect but she didn’t deserve me. What I found out was that she was addicted to bad-boy types (or people who didn’t have their shit together and superficial confidence, not necessarely bad-boys with true confidence). Perhaps Luis is a man with high sexual value, and perhaps he doesn’t correspond to the type of guy they’ll truly fall for. Too much stability, no mystery or adventure filled life.

    In addition, They may feel they don’t deserve his value and that he could run away with a girl with higher value.

    Furthermore, if the women think they don’t deserve him, maybe they’re right. What was so charming about Bill Clinton and JFK was that they put people at their level by making them feel comfortable. They sensed that people were intimidated by them so they tried to raise the value of these people.

    Maybe that’s what Luis should do. Help the women feel that they deserve him, that they are desired and that he won’t run away for another (who will deserve him more).

    Excuse my English, I’m French

    P

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