Virgin Girl Raped!

29 Comment(s)

1. LDS | Reply

   Bizarre is right! Not so uncommon though. I have been with a girl who had been raped (prior to our relationship) and she revealed it years later. Needless to say, rape is very traumatic and it is not abnormal for a girl to not want to talk about or just ignore it, it is a defense mechanism. Anyhow what is abnormal, is a girl inviting her rapist over. Either way, you have to forget about this girl, she’s has or will have more issues than National Geographic. I think she’s both a liar
   AND a poor decision maker. Drop her like she’s hot, literally.

2. Keith (Tomcat) | Reply

   YOU SCREWED UP big time…and No, I haven’t been in this situation because I won’t allow myself to get into this situation….here’s my answers……wuss
   1st paragraph……YOU don’t tell her your feelings.
   2nd paragraph……SHE told you (sarcastic tone)…..which means she wears the pants…..wuss
   3rd paragraph……maybe next time…..tells us the doubt….it’s YES or NO….wuss
   4rth paragraph…..Bad girl!…she’s playing with you….your now a nice guy and now labled friend
   5th paragraph…..She’s now officially turned you into a woman with a penis
   6th paragraph…..”SHE wasn’t really sure,”…… ARE YOU BRAINDEAD, WHEN A WOMAN HAS CUM ALL AROUND HER STICKY VAGINA AND PANTIES… SHE KNOWS….Tell her to tell her parents or go to the Cops…..if she doesn’t she lieing, now you have become a total woman with a penis…your done like dinner!…
   7th paragraph…..She now is the person 100% in control and call the shots.
   8th paragraph…..”CHEATING ON YOU.”……..I bet you haven’t even been intimate with her…….YOU HAVE TO BECOME A MAN!
   9th paragraph…..YOU’VE BEEN PLAYED….and your friends who console you are not even involved. This has turned into a story of EMOTIONAL TAMPONS!

   MY RESPONSE TO SECOND ADDED EMAIL!

   1st paragraph…..You have become her dumping ground and counselor. Congradulations Dr. Phil…your her girlfriend with a penis…..GROW SOME NUTS!
   2nd paragraph…..You’ve been played totally….(sarcastic tone) did you pay for her trip?…….
   3rd paragraph…..YOU been conned…..You gave her total control….She wrapped you around her finger.
   4th paragraph…..THE reason she didn’t even care is because……IT’S NOT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER THAT COUNTS TO HER……IT’S HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT YOU THAT COUNTS TO HER…….
   Conclusion…The catergories….there are nice guys, wusses, nerds, jerks, assholes, players, womanizers, abusers, bad boys and alphas…..YOUR IN THE FIRST 2 LISTED…….IT takes 12 minutes to seduce a woman, thats all!……..and a woman categorizes you within the FIRST 20 SECONDS……next time I will charge a consultation fee…..CONFIDENCE….CALM……COOL…COLLECTED….CHARISMATIC…..CHARMING….LIKE SEAN CONNERY!
   Solution…WHAT can we learn from the ANIMAL KINGDOM?….Did you know that a male lion has a harem, licks his balls all day, doesn’t hunt, eats first, farts at free will and continues to have a harem……WAKE UP!

3. mn | Reply

   hey cr bro i have been a causal reader of ur letters/ blogs and find them to be the truth. keep helping us out!!!

   now i have never felt a need to comment on anything thus far until now. i have just read ur newly posted story from our friend whose girl (the virgin) who got raped or so she says. i wld not normally say that a woman was not raped when she say she was (cause as u kno rape is the easiest accusation to make and the hardest one to disprove) but these women out there are manipulative and we men tend to close our eyes to that fact, always looking to please.they will say anything,do anything and believe they can get away.
   to my bro who went through that bull shit with his lying chick, bro be strong hold on to ur nuts and move on. dont settle for whats disappointing. she made her choice knowing how u felt abt her so u cannot act dumb to that fact or else she’ll conitue walking over u.

4. Keith (Tomcat) | Reply

   I HAD TO BE HARSH WITH LN because this person has to grow, expand, learn, become aware and gain self-assurrance, self-confidence and self-esteem.
   His letters reeked with attempting to defend her innocence and create reason for doubt.
   I said wuss and woman with a penis, after certain paragraphs stating, that is the type of behavior exercised and not to be assumed as name calling this man. I am naming the behavior.
   Now walk slow like a relaxed lion, talk slow like a relaxed lion and quit worrying what women think of you or what they are thinking in general. What you think of yourself is MOST important.

   Keith (Tomcat)

5. Keith (Tomcat) | Reply

   She wasn’t really sure but she thinks she had been raped by one of the guys or maybe more I don’t know, and that was how she lost her virginity,
   here’s the 2 scenarios
   6th paragraph…..”SHE wasn’t really sure,”…… ARE YOU BRAIN DEAD, WHEN A WOMAN HAS CUM ALL AROUND HER STICKY VAGINA AND PANTIES… SHE KNOWS if she had consenual sex.
   6th paragraph…..”SHE wasn’t really sure,”… WHEN A WOMAN HAS CUM ALL AROUND HER STICKY VAGINA AND PANTIES… SHE KNOWS if she was raped as well.
   6th paragraph…..”SHE wasn’t really sure,”… COME ON, What she has told you is that she lost her virginity, that is what she is sure of.
   She did someone. Even if a condom was used and she was a virgin, she would of had her hymen broken and went to the doctor. She would of been sore. Women are always sore the first few times. I would dust her immediately.

6. Keith (Tomcat) | Reply

   Final addition (with a woman’s help)

   Did she tell the police?
   Did she tell her parents or close relatives?
   Did she tell a co-worker (if employed)?
   Did she tell a fellow student (if in school)?
   Did she get examined by a doctor?

   Doctors do have to record and file reports.

   If you have 5 complete NO’s, there’s a gigantic chance she didn’t get raped.

   Now that’s $250.00 a consultation…..learn to read women.

7. G | Reply

   Dear CR and LN,

   CR, I appreciate that you sent LN’s blog to everyone to get the input of other people. I’m quite a bit different than most of the people that are on your website, but I hope you both will hear me out and consider the thoughts that I am offering. But, perhaps coming from this different point of view I might be able to give a different perspective on some of NL’s questions and concerns about his girlfriend’s rape.

   Please let me explain the reasons that I am different:
   • I am a woman instead of a man
   • I am a Conservative Christian who is committed to obey Christ
   • I am committed to being celibate until marriage
   • I am committed to being faithful within marriage
   • I was very naive and trusting, raised in a sheltered Christian home
   • I was a virgin until I was 33, and that was taken from me in an abusive and raping manner
   • I have been molested and abused as both an child and adult, emotionally, physically, and sexually
   • I have been in counseling to heal from that abuse for quite some time
   • I subscribed to SSP to learn how to protect myself from same type of predatory men that I raped and abused me have known instead of learning how to become one

   First, LN, HELP GET HER TO A GOOD CHRISTIAN CONSELOR WHO CAN HELP HER TO WORK THROUGH HER RAPE !!!!!!! — preferably a woman because she will understand what she is feeling and experiencing better than a man might. This counselor will understand about her feelings of being “dirty” or being a “bad” girl now that she has been rape and is no longer technically a virgin … and everything else she is struggling with emotionally right now. And acquaintance rape is one of the hardest rapes to work through because it rapes a woman’s ability to trust herself and her ability to make good decisions as well as her ability to trust other people.
   Two good referral resources are New Life Ministries and the American Association for Christian Counselors. Her church and pastor might be able to refer her to a good counselor. Some churches even have their own counsel staff.
   Being her “significant other”, when those men (?) raped your girlfriend, they raped you and her family as well as her. There are resources to help you, too. You might try to find a good counselor, as well — and if you are a Christian, a good Christian counselor who is a man, so he can understand where you are coming from.
   There is a pretty good book that you might consider starting with, “Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child” by Laura Davis. It isn’t directly about rape, but it still deals with sexual violation of a person that you love and might have some input that still might help you.
   You and she might also see if there are any support groups for her and you.
   You can be there for her but you can’t “fix” her.
   And tell her for me, too, “Ask Jesus to help you heal from what has happened to you. He loves you and always will and will hold you and help you to heal. He will NEVER EVER leave or forsake you; He will ALWAYS hold you in the palm of His hand and in His heart. He is your gentle and powerful Shepherd and He will walk with you in all this.”
   She might also consider pressing charges so that these vicious men don’t do the same thing to another woman.
   And I will add both of her and you to the people I pray for every day.

   Second, believe what she is telling you, NL.
   If she loves you, she won’t lie to you or “play” you. If she is doing either, that will eventually come out and you can deal with it at that time.
   Here are some reasons that I am advising this:
   • The first thing a victim of rape, abuse and/or molestation needs is to be believed
   • in the right circumstances, it is possible to get drunk on mixed drinks, especially if the person is naïve about that area.
   In my own case, there was one time I was well on my way to getting drunk after having a single mixed drink and was street-staggering drunk by the time I had finished my second —- but I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink all day and, having grown up in a non-drinking home, I knew nothing about alcohol and how it acted. Unlike your girlfriend, however, I was with REAL friends who didn’t take advantage of me and got me coffee and something to eat and drink right away — and then educated me about alcohol. (But I learned my lesson; I never got drunk again.)
   In addition, those rapists might have drugged her drink; in her innocence, she might be thinking that she was drunk when in fact they had slipped her a date-rape drug or something.
   • only the fact that a woman has not had sex makes her a virgin, not the presence or absence of a hymen.
   The man that I gave my virginity to eventually told me that I hadn’t been a virgin at all. One of my girlfriends had her first sex partner tell her that she hadn’t been a virgin, too. Both men were supposedly “experienced”.
   From my contact with these and other men, I have come to the conclusion that the men who are supposedly well educated about sex really don’t know anything about women and their sexual physiology.
   Only one of the fallacies that men believe is that a woman ALWAYS has a hymen if she a virgin, assuming that the absence of one means that she has had sex and isn’t a virgin. But if you do a quick internet search and study about the “hymen”, you will quickly learn that this is not the case —- that a woman’s hymen can be broken from exercise, tampon use, medical pelvic exams, masturbation, and accident, or any number of things or she could simply not be born with one at all —– and that the only thing that makes a virgin a virgin is whether or not she (or he) has ever had sexual intercourse.
   And believe me, having a woman’s first sex partner tell a former virgin that she hadn’t really been a virgin really stings — but the fact remains that I (and my friend) was still virgin, regardless of what the jerks said. And you want to know something, both my girlfriend and I always carried a hate and bitterness for those two men because they had thrown the gift of our virginity back into our faces —- and that became part of the reason that we eventually broke up with them.
   • we women who have been molested, raped and abused do the oddest things some times — at least they might seem odd to someone who has never lived through what we have and/or don’t understand the dynamics of rape. And if your girlfriend has been raised as I was, not being allowed to say “no” to anyone, she may very well have allowed the rapist into her house because she didn’t feel like she could tell him to get lost.
   I look back on some of the things that I did and wonder what in the blazes I was thinking —- although, being in counseling has helped me to understand all that I did, too.
   • She might also be under the mistaken belief that, as a Christian, she is supposed to “turn the other cheek” and forgive this man …. and that the forgiveness includes continuing to allow him to be in her life and in her house.
   Please tell her for me that God the Father holds criminals accountable for their actions and gives His people to the right to protect themselves and other people from criminals. The Bible also tells us the He gave us government to control criminals and that she might want to consider pressing charges and getting a restraining order. AND THAT INCLUDES IF THIS RAPIST AND/OR HIS BUDDIES ARE CHRISTIANS THEMSELVES ~~~ and especially so.
   Also, she may not be able talking about the rape because she isn’t able to accept it emotionally and is in that stage called “denial”.
   • Your girlfriend is expressing what women have come to understand about men —– how men think women and how they treat them.
   As virgins (or committed celibates and spouses), we are a challenge for men to conquer — to have before any other man has been able to or when no other man is able to.
   As non-virgins, we are used goods that they feel free to use and throw away.
   Men want to marry virgins, but are bitter with women when they won’t have sex with them before being married, accusing them of manipulating them.
   Men don’t see us as people but as extension of their sex drives.
   Among Christian men, there are some who refuse to marry a woman who isn’t a virgin — and I’ve even heard about one man that refused to marry his fiancé when she confided that she’d lost her virginity when her father had molested her as a child …not even her own choice of whether or not to have sex.

   NL, the last advice that I will offer you is that you honor her desire and commitment to stay celibate before marriage. Treat her with the same respect that you like people to give you and your choices; I can guarantee that you will NEVER regret it, no matter what happens in your relationship with her —- and I can guarantee that she will respect you all the more for honoring and protecting her commitment, too ….again, no matter what happens in your relationship with her (and, if you two eventually marry, that she will find you more worthy of her sexual loving, too, as well as her emotional love).

   If you can’t do this, CR is correct; leave her —- but for her sake. She deserve better a man than one who will continue the rape and violence that was done to her — one more like her Savior, Jesus Christ.
   Me — because of what happened to me in and after my rape and abuse, even the thought of having sex makes me retch and almost vomit.
   You have the ability to part of her healing or part of her further rape and violence.
   I hope you will choose to be a part of her healing, if only as a friend and not a boyfriend.

   Again, I will be praying for you and your girlfriend.

   ~~~~ G

8. A | Reply

   Dude this is screwy… Whether she had a good time, or she’s testing you, or she’s a compulsive liar, whatever happened, she’s not good material. Don’t believe for a second she was raped. The way she acts indicates that was not the case. Find yourself someone worthy. Her kind should not bother you, and should not pollute the gene pool by procreating.

   If you do want her though, have a talk to her explaining that you don’t believe her story and she should come clean. If she does, take it from there. If she doesn’t, say good bye.

9. RK | Reply

   dump the bitch!

10. ryan | Reply

    hey!
    I had a read on the ‘bizzare’ situation in the blog and i have to say it sounds very messed up.
    im not going to go into any details about how girls can be and all that but if that wants answers than he has just got to confront her and talk to her in person. He needs to tell her how he feels because if one of you can’t trust the other in a relationship and don’t do anything, then its over before its begun. Once she knows how you feel then she must be forthcoming with what she felt that day when she dropped the ‘rape’ subject so carelessly, otherwise something dodgy ‘IS’ going on…but until that point, there wont be any progress with this issue or thier relationship.

    Hope ive helped

11. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER | Reply

    Hi CR James

    I answered your fellow subscriber’s situation……and its the best. I know my stuff and live it.

    Keith

12. Ray Harris | Reply

    Hi CR,

    That IS bizarre. I feel for the guy – it seems he had genuine feelings for the dame. I agree with your advice … he needs to forget about her because she’s a major flake. Later

    Ray

13. eltheous | Reply

    Re guy who has girlfriend who says she thinks she was raped:

    Ask her why she thinks she was raped and how would she know given that she’s a virgin;

    Ask her why her friends would have left her alone with the guy;

    Tell her to make a police report and get a physical exam to see if she still has a hymen (and if she doesn’t wish to, why not?)?;

    Ask her why she got drunk;

    Most importantly, give her the number of a local rape center and let a professional female advise her — this is not a matter for young males to try to figure out.

    Lastly, tell her that a woman who believes in keeping her virtue generally doesn’t party with men with alcohol — so, although you don’t wish to doubt her, you need to understand fully what she is trying to tell you about what happened so that you can trust that you are not being played — she’s either lying to herself, or lying to you. You’ll still date her if she’s lying, but you won’t respect her protestations that she isn’t interested in sex. In fact, you blame yourself that you didn’t seduce her and save her from losing her virginity to rape. If she”s willing to fully explain how she was victimized, then go with her to make a police report, see that she sees a rape counselor, and continue to trust her. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, give her the rape crisis number. Also, try to determine if she has a trustworthy female friend (who won’t talk) and speak to that girl about hypothetically what should be done for her girlfriend if she has been raped.

14. Botha, Francois | Reply

    Hi CR

    I don’t really think that there’s anything to do left. It is rather what he should have done before she left. Maybe he was on the right track and she wasn’t even a virgin to begin with and just had to delay so that she can have time to concoct her story.

    The only thing he can do now is to put his penis on a flat surface and slam a rock down on it.

    Francois Botha

15. Darren | Reply

    that guy is a moron.

    You shud just tell the girl, there ya go talking to me like you don’t have
    a brain!!! you either know you were raped or not, period
    you’re talking like a dizzy bitch.

    Darren

16. Saul Vazquez | Reply

    Brother James!!,

    Always good to hear from you…

    my imput on this situation… Well, I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Totally infatuated with the thought of a particular woman in my life which didn’t pan out – and totally infatuated with myself and not feeding into any woman’s need for attention no matter how dire the situation…

    I feel the latter is of course more important for us as Men to understand in order to take ownership of our feelings and actions… Whether this young girl was really abused or whatever the case may have been she definitely has some genuine interest in the gentleman which does give her more value to his life, although, through a position of strength this guy should know himself and put himself first either way… If he gives the situation just the right amount of attention that it merits, he will still be doing all the other things that make him a Man and in turn be the friend/lover type of fellow that would be most effective with this young woman… not to mension himself.

    Therefor, I wouldn’t bother my emotions heavily with her experience since we all have to experience and learn our own lessons. I would be an outlet of sharing herself and continue building comfortability and trust if this girl is his focus of intimacy at the moment. Just be her friend, keep asking her safe question (things that you think she’ll be more than willing to answer) and eventually I would pop the deeper questions…

    ur brother and Novice Seducer lol

    Saul…

    God bless and talk soon mano hope that little feedback helps

17. Edward Kellams | Reply

    I read it. That’s high school girl crap. Sounds like she wanted a badboy and he was respecting her too much when all she wanted was a good f***ing.

    Too bad for him, missed his window of oppurtunity. Move on and leave her be. Happened to me once…in junior high school!

18. DAN MAN | Reply

    Im not one 4 much help im going threw hell with my love of ten years whos just lied her way out of our relationship and have gone as far as thinking of using witch craft on her stupidity

    b dan

19. CindRad | Reply

    I am in the same situation. I have no idea what to tell you to do. I would need to know more about the circumstances.
    One thing I did was make a list of the pros and cons of the relationship. The cons outweighed the pros by a long shot. Good luck

20. Xander | Reply

    CR,

    I totally agree with you. she’s not being up front about a thing with this guy. She may think she loves him, but finds herself physically attracted to someone else.

    or it’s that since she made a mistake with person B, she now feels some odd obligation to stand by it. This really shows a lack of respect for herself, and for her “Boy Friend”. No matter how you cut the cake it still tastes like crap. he needs to move on, it’s a head game.

    Xander

21. Mike Pratt | Reply

    Well, I’ve “been around the block” a few times and I can usually smell trouble when it or I enter the same zip code. The “story” is certainly missing something. No! Scratch that. It’s missing a lot-Details not mentioned.

    1) If she was truly raped she’d unlikely act as if nothing happened so soon. There would be specific behaviors to follow. I have spoken to and have known a few women who suffered through the scars of rape. According to this story, the chances are Slim and None. And Slim already has his bags packed. If she was truly raped she would not likely be so forthcoming with the info in the manner described.

    2) Love can be a wicked bitch. It tends to blind us (both genders) when it hits us. We tend to see what we want to see. I think this gentleman has not been paying close enough attention to the one he claims to love. That doesn’t mean offering affection and pleasant conversation. I mean he has not been observing. Not a knock on him. It happens or has happened to all of us with relationships. Better pay very close attention before just rolling your dice of life and throwing caution to the wind.

    3) He needs to take one giant step back (away from her) for an undetermined period of time. And that is for several reasons. (a) On the remote possibility she was raped, she will go through several stages. And he can offer an ear of support only. Listen. Let her talk and only contribute his input from a third person perspective-As if he is not involved with her in a relationship. (b) If she is “testing” him, then she is playing dirty pool to do so in that manner. If that is in play now (earlier stages of a relationship) then expect much bigger “tests” down the road. Questions are, how big and is it worth the risk? (c) With (b) mentioned previously, this story wreaks of either total BS or she has much deeper issues.

    My final advice, if this story is true, RUN AWAY! Love or not, the girls HAS (and already had) deep personal issues. Take that long step back. Observe and interact with her as a casual acquaintance. Not as a potential husband, boyfriend, or sexual partner. I strongly believe the previously unseen pieces will then begin to reveal themselves. Then and only then can he make an informed decision about pursuing a romantic relationship with her. And that takes however long it takes. Maybe a year. Maybe a lifetime.

    Good Luck & Proceed With Caution,

    -Mike Pratt

22. Mike Ndegwa | Reply

    Hi CR,

    Hope you are well.

    I have read your Post

    I really pity the guy.

    Women nowadays are using innocence and sympathy as tools for power play.

    It a dangerous zone to fall prey of the same.

    Sometimes to be insensitive ~in a good way~ can really help from the word go.

    To make humor from the beginning helps avoid women putting you in an emotional black hole.

    5 years ago I was innocent and dating a more experienced woman than me.

    She used to give me stories of how no one likes her in the family, how she has fake friends and she didn’t know what she would do without me.

    She even told me she had cervical cancer as the reason why we could not have sex.

    She really capitalized on my innocence and emotional weakness.

    I realized later that she was cheating on me while I got her in a fight with her two other boyfriends, in a contest of who had made her pregnant.

    Can you imagine that?

    Anyway its long time I have a fiancee and i learned my lessons.

    CR if you remember me an year ago I was to make a presentation about the road to success in my company and I used your materials for the same.

    My colleagues still talk about it to date.

    I also started my website.

    mikesnotice.com
    mikesnotice.com/blog

    Sincerely,

    Mike Ndegwa

23. phil atherton | Reply

    I’d have got rid of her straight away! Complete BS, emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping…

24. navid boarder | Reply

    i don’t read all the raped story but to me you’re missing possibility #4 which is getting nowadays very much a good trend for some girls, that is

    4. she was never a virgin from the start. and now she’ll pretend like a horrible story which she do not want to be reminded of, happened to her there. but in reality she been woman before meet the LN kid.

    I don’t know, just consider.

    take care

25. lammy | Reply

    Hello Every one on this site,
    the name’s lammy the guy in question and who has the real problem in this issue,i read all your comments and man i’m really impressed as the postings keep coming in,thanks a lot,infact i feel like i’m beign popular and kinda like star literally,
    Every bit of your postings has really been a lot of help to me,its just that you dont know which is which,you know?
    The relationship with this girl in question,was a very remarkable one,i didnt behave a wusy in any way that i could think of,and i’ve always been a fan of CR James before i even met her,what do you think made me reel her into me lol,its just that there are some things which came from my side too,i mean some faults,i think made the whole scenario but anyway like they always say,’we live to learn.’
    She was really infactuated with me,and i never made the move to bed her until she was about to leave a day before her departure,why i have my reasons,thing is i’m a virgin too,and so you know would be a little …. you know?
    maybe that day she wasnt really in the mood because this scenario even had to happen in one of my friends place,which she later had to tell me that she wasnt also comfortable with the idea and that why couldnt we do it at my place,the thing is i live in a place where my old folks are kind of the strict and military type of people you know,so i dont ever have the slightest chance to try that at home,not to even bring a lady in,as long as you’re still under their roof,so you know thats why i didnt bother think about the sex with her,until she was about to leave and it was even an em,ergency thought,to cut the long story short,shes moved back to thier place in their town after the incident after she came back the second time,its been like 5 months now of not seeing her,and she stills calls me like crazy,she still stays with her parents and you know is still under strict supervision too,shes 19,still pretty young,i have decided to move on since we aint together not becasue i broke up with her but she had some family issues and had to move back to college,shes stil crazy about me and i still have some feelings for her being that shes the first girl i actually dated,but i’m back in the dating game,told her to move on too,since we cant be together as long distance relationships dont work,but she refuses,saying still carzy about me,and now she wants me more than ever,why isnt she screwing ohter guys over there?thats what stil baffles me, you know?is it becasue they dont have sexual value or what?

26. Jay | Reply

    I support the death penalty for rape. I don’t understand how rapist could steal precious oxygen from us respectable people who actually deserve it. I think that rapist should be charged with theft as by breathing oxygen they are essentially stealing from the rest of us. That is how much I hate rapist.

    As for dating a victim I wouldn’t do it, too much emotional trauma for them and a resentment for men I would not care to overcome. Nonetheless I support victims rights to the full extent and believe criminal rights are bullshit that need to be abolished. Why the fuck should I pay a rapist three square meals a day? I shouldn’t, just let them die a slow, painful death which is the very least they owe society.

    With over six billion people in the world we need a worldwide holocaust against violent criminals like terrorist, serial killers, rapist, armed robbers, and muggers.

27. Instructor CR James | Reply

    A rapist is one of the lowest forms of existence.

28. T2 | Reply

    Ok, we have a couple of issues here. First let’s deal with her reluctance to have sex. I would tell her there was a time when it was proper to wait until marriage to have sex. They called it the Victorian Age. We live in the 21st century. You need to be honest about your needs, even if that means losing this girl. And here is something to be wary of, if the girl has issues about having sex now, she is going to have issues if you marry her.

    Now, for the other part. I see one of three things going on with her being so tight you can’t have sex without hurting her. One you are not getting her turned on enough to lubricate so you can penetrate her, two, she has a physical condition that is preventing her from lubricating and dilating, three she has a mental block preventing her from enjoying sex. My money is on a combination of one and three. Again you need to be truthful and up front with this. You both need to see a competent sex therapist. She needs to come clean about her issues with sex, you need to come clean about your inexperience as a lover. You might also do some study on Tantra.

    So first you need to be up front with her, tell her the truth about how you feel, about your needs, and that you are convinced that she has some sexual hang ups that need to be resolved. I would be brutally honest here, in that I would also tell her that if we cannot work through these issues I would not be seeing a future with her because I would not be able to trust that she is going to be an adequate lover once married. Second you both need to see a qualified sex therapist, one who doesn’t automatically assume it is the mans fault, and does know how to work people through blockages and issues

    T2

29. Steve | Reply

    Did this happen in America. Someone told me that if you know of a crime and do not report it, you can be prosecuted in USA. Is this true??

    I live in UK, many years ago I dated an Irish girl who claimed to have been raped, she would burst into tears when we first started to get intimate. We just got a little more intimate each time, she improved a heck of a lot as she gradually overcame her fears and learned to trust again. I never did have full sex with her though. I often wonder what became of her.

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